Lessons from 2018 so far

I meant to write this post a long time ago but like most of this year it has just gotten away from me. Last year I feel like I worked a lot on myself and my anxiety. This year I focused a lot of attention outward and what I was putting out into the world. I could tell that my anxious and fearful self didn’t help me to get where I wanted to go especially with friendships. And this year with wedding planning it shows you a lot. I had a ton of friends I never expected step up to the plate, I learned that my friends show that they care in different ways than I do and really learned the tough lesson that I wasn’t a priority for some people. I am empathetic to a fault and I really try to communicate with friends, and when you don’t receive that back it can be hurtful.

So I stopped putting effort into relationships that no longer served me.

Now, I feel like when people say that it makes it seem like this incredible shift happens immediately and life is unicorns and rainbows. And friends Im here to tell you the truth. At first, its quiet. Like eerily quiet. When you remove all the noise and commotion of people in your life that have a negative affect, it leaves a really empty space.

And I have to be honest, it freaked me out at first. I wasn’t sure what to do I felt like I had all this time on my hands, less people were talking to me and I felt sad. I was morning the lost of friends and had nothing to immediately replace it with. So I took a step back and thought about what I would like to fill my new found free time with. I spent it doing things I enjoyed and thats when everything really started to turn around. I fostered and help grew things in my life that brought me happiness. Sometimes I would just read a book and when it was over I’d be sad because no one texted me. But I realized that few hours of reading the book brought me more happiness, and less frustration than those friends did.

So yes this shift brought good change but it took time and a little more work on my side. But I find now that when toxic friends do dumb things it doesn’t bother me or get me worked but because I don’t care, and two I have better friends now that I don’t need them. I put more time and energy into things and people that made me happy and of course Im overall much happier.

So If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. Don’t waste your precious time and energy on things and people that don’t make you feel good. Do things that are good for you and make you feel good about yourself. I spent so much time trying to get mean people to like me and it was like for what? Why not spend more time with someone you just met and it was easy.

I hope this encourages you too that if you want a change, it my be hard at first, and even weird but it will pay dividend. Just know you’re doing what is best for you and thats what matters! The happier the more you will attract your tribe!

“Your vibe attracts your tribe”

Real Talk: Take the break

Henry and I have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off ever since Memorial Day weekend.  Almost every weekend has been busy with visits or weddings and now packing for our move.  I was being pulled in every direction, trying to make time for my new job at work, wedding planning, being present with family and continuing my healthy lifestyle.  I was pushing until I could feel my body start to slow down and give out and I thought to myself something has to give.  I just didn't know what.  

I had to stop everything for a few days and only do things that really needed to get done.  So I took a few days off social media and just refocused.  I feel like so many of us say yes to everything and try to give everything 110% leaving us not caring for our own well being. 

A lot of my anxiety and "need" to do things often come from social media.  Feeling like I have to post constantly and every post has to be epic. It was just too much pressure and so unrealistic.  

So I didn't go on social media for a few days and it was crazy. I was able to get so much done and feel productive. I felt good about myself. I took everything off my list and only added back the things that really needed to be done. 

I guess that whole point of this post is to let you know if you're feeling overwhelmed and have a lot going on, its okay to take a step back.  Take a break.  All the to-dos will be there in the morning but if we aren't taking care of ourselves then theres no point in getting everything checked off. 

I recommend for everyone to take a few days or even just a few hours off social media every day.  It allows time for you to get done without being distracted.  And I find often times I go on social media and then am left with bad feelings and that just doesn't help me to be productive in any aspect of my life. 

Remember friends, its important to take care of our selves and mental health so take the break if you need it.  I promise everyone will be here when you come back!