Advice for Living with your Significant Other
Hi Friends, so I recently (last January) moved in with my boyfriend and I feel like I get a lot of questions from family and friends about how it is. Honestly, it's pretty amazing, I have my best friend around all the time but don’t get me wrong there are some things that get to me every once in a while. I think what helped the most is that H and I went in with realistic expectations and talked about a lot of things before we moved in. I have learned things about living with H that I feel like is helpful advice if you wanted to take the plunge on moving in with your significant other. Most of them are really small things but have a large impact. If you moved in with your partner I’d love to hear what you learned/discovered!
1. Have your own space - In our apartment H has his desk, and I have my little reading nook. When we go to these spots we sorta leave each other alone, and it gives time to just do the things we want and feel like we have some private time. And it is also a signal that we want to do our own thing when we are in that space. It is a super helpful visual and we both like time to do our own thing so this gives us the excuse.
2. Don’t feel the need to do everything together - When H first moved out to Ohio, going from long distance to the same city I always felt like I had to entertain him. It put a lot of pressure on things. And sometimes just made me downright annoyed. But once I realized that we could co-exist and not do every single thing together I felt better about a lot of things. We still do most things together but it feels nice to eat a meal alone if you need to.
3. If things bother you speak up right away - This is a tough one because of you, of course, don’t want to hurt your significant other’s feelings but if there is something you are really uncomfortable with saying it right away instead of waiting 6 months. It's an adjustment period which means you also have to be open to hearing someone not liking everything that you do. It's a give and take but makes for a much better living environment
4. That being said, let some things go. Aka pick your battles. I got this pretty hamper for our clothes for Christmas and H every week just leaves clothes on his side. It uses to bother me but I also leave clothes out too so I didn’t feel like I really should harp on him about it. As long as he puts his clothes in there on laundry day I'm good.
5. Expect some compromise - Or course you guys are used to living life a certain way. Just be ready to be flexible. Know what you won't compromise but also be ready to give a little.
6. Talk about money before - People have very different ways of viewing money and dealing with things. Getting a feel for that before and setting budgets really helps
7. Get ready to have some uncomfortable talks - Whether it's how someone lives, eating/cleaning habits or money. They aren’t fun conversions but that's part of living with someone else
All this being said, I honestly find living with H really easy. I have my best friend around all the time to do things with and spend time with. We established our pet peeves and cleaning schedule early on and I think that really helped us.
H's advice - "Be flexible, Identify your own space early on, and remember that what bothers them might not bother you but you need to recognize and work with that and remember you're a team working together not against each other. Remember that they aren’t just your roommate but your significant other. So try to keep the gross stuff to a minimum."
I liked his advice haha what do you guys think! What is your advice?